Long Breaks put me in the Dumps
I feel like I live two very different lives when I'm at school vs. on my breaks. I've felt this way since I was a little kid (never been great with change and changing plans). Any weekend longer than 3 days and I start to feel so out of it. The sparkle of "wow, so much free time!" wears off and becomes dull. I am suddenly faced with the lack of structure I so heavily rely on, and now I must figure out how to proceed. It's like suddenly being pushed into a pool with no warning. Everything is turned on its head. I'm feeling this especially right now being out of uni for the summer. I went from having a specific schedule 5-7 days a week to the freedom of none at all.
The lack of variety is also a factor that puts me in the dumps. During the school years I have homework and social activities to look forward to, and to get me out of the house. On breaks I usually relapse into this prolonged usage of social media and screen entertainment because I feel like I have nothing else to do. There's typically nothing to look forward to, so I get apathetic towards everything (including my hobbies and goals). I only go back and forth between my home and my job. Most of my friends are busy or on vacation. Going out alone is stressful and unsafe. Life quickly becomes a repetitive blur where I only ever do the un-fun things. It wears down on my mental health quite a bit.